Thursday, February 28, 2013

Inner Thighs

It's SO frustrating to work&work&work
and never see them shrink.
C'mon, Thighs!
Please, Please, Please
Time to do inner-thigh-workouts

Day 169

Apple - 50cals
Chicken Stir Fry - 400cals
Corned Beef Omelette w/ FF Cheese - 300cals
Apple Cinnamon Fiber Muffin - 140cals

Jog w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 690

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Incline Time

I've been really into incline walks&jogs lately.
Instead of killing myself on the elliptical
I simply put the treadmill on the highest incline
then walk or jog at a reasonable pace.
I make sure not to hold on
so I work as hard as possible
and basically end up doing a million lunges.
In a 20 minute workout
I burn about 250-300cals
while the boyfriend runs 5 miles
and only burns about 2x as much.
It may sound lazy of me,
but I like that my effort gives me so much
without nearly as much sweat&energy.
(especially when I'm not taking in many calories.)
I can't wait for summer runs on the beach.
Those are totally worth the work.

Day 168

Apple - 50cals
Chicken Stir Fry - 400cals
Tootsie Rolls - 140cals
Romaine w/ Chicken & Thousand Island - 250cals

Jog with Stairs - 200cals

NET: 640

Tuesday, February 26, 2013


It's frustrating to think
that I work so hard on my body
and the boyfriend doesn't try to fuck me 24/7.
He's kind of shy... I'll give him that.
But, c'mon... really!?
I work my ass off (literally) to look good
and he doesn't even take advantage of the goods.
I almost have to beg got sex
or make it painfully obvious that I want it
then it's not really even worth the effort for me.
I guess I'll simply by tiny for myself
cause he doesn't seem to fuck me more-or-less
whether I'm chunky or bony.

Day 167

Bagel w/ FF CreamCheese - 250cals
Apple - 50cals
Salad w/ FF Italian - 150cals
Tootsie Rolls - 150cals
Juevos Rancheros - 210cals

Jog w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 610 [410]

Monday, February 25, 2013

Sexy Sweats

Sometimes, I feel the sexiest in my sweatpants.
When they're hanging off my hips
slouching down under my bones I feel like:
If I can look tiny in a pair of thick sweats
that are two sizes too big&baggy,
then I must actually be tiny.
When I want to wear a skin-tight top,
I know I'm feelin' good.
And - lately - I've definitely been feelin' it.

Day 166

Apple - 50cals
Romaine w/ Pepper & Egg - 150cals
Peanut Butter Protein Shake - 100cals
Crinkle Cut Fries - 200cals
Bagel w/ FF CreamCheese - 250cals

Jog w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 550 [350]

Sunday, February 24, 2013


So, I'm a big fan of the Big Bang Theory
and I can't help but notice
how often the character Penny
fluctuates in weight.
She's definitely never fat...
but it's like she gets bloated all the time
and I find it so strange.
In all the advertisements, she looks flawless
of course
but the actual episodes make me want to
jump behind the scenes & shake her dietitian
for letting her get so puffy so often.
Don't get me wrong:
I think she's beautiful&adorable&cute
but someone should give her a little advice
(and take away her high-schooler clothes for public events)
to really emphasize her strong points.

While I was trying to find a good comparative pictures
of her weight gain&loss
I came across this Lifetime movie she was in
that I actually saw forever ago without realizing it was her.
Kind of funny.

Day 163-165

Apple, Salad, Vegan Protein Shake, Chips & Cheese
Uphill Run

Stir Fry, Dove Chocolates, Apples, [too much] MaryJane

Egg Sandwich, Lemon Rice Soup, Sloppy Joe, Apple, Bagel w/ CreamCheese

NET: 500ish

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Flower Pants

I bought these floral pants last fall
but thought my thighs looked way too fat in them.
I finally decided to wear them to work
(still not feeling completely comfortable)
but I knew I had to get over it
and wear what I insisted on purchasing.
I guess they didn't look too bad.
I can't wait to actually look&feel good in them.

Day 162

Eggwhite w/ Chicken Sausage - 100cals
Iceburg w/ Peppers, Eggs, & FF Italian - 150cals
Oatmeal Raisin Cookie - 200cals
Chocolate Caramel - 100cals
Peanut Butter Protein Shake (Lactaid Milk) - 100cals
Vegetable Lo Mein - 200cals

Incline Jog - 250cals

NET: 600

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Lilly's Loss

Reruns of How I Met Your Mother
seem to be on TV every single night
and - though I've never followed the show - 
I always watch it.
The other night's episode
was days before Lily&Marshall's wedding
and Lily decided to try on her dress for Robin.
When she throws her arms up in excitement
the dress falls down around her waist
and she gasps&screams something about:
losing weight on accident.
(though she does look really skinny at the time in the series)
So she goes on a binge...
trying to gain weight for the wedding.
Lily: I lost a pound! 
Robin: That is impossible!

You ate McDonalds for 3 days. 
Lily: I knew that Super Size Me guy was full of it!

I wish I could lose on accident.
Then get to eat all the things I crave...
I can't wait for some of clothes are too big.
I'm due for a shopping-spree
and some confidence boosters.

Day 161

Apple - 60cals
Cuties - 90cals
Chicken & Celery Soup - 100cals
Chips & Guac - 200cals
Chicken Breast & Broccoli - 200cals

Jog w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 450

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


125.5lbs this morning.
So close!
I still have to drop .5
maintain it for a week
before I can reward myself with a tattoo.
Slow&Steady wins the race, I suppose.

I can't believe I'm at an all-time low
for the past year
and I'm still not even
under 125lbs OR 10lbs down.
Especially for how hard I work.

Day 160

Apple - 60cals
Chicken & Celery Soup - 100cals
Sugar Free Vegan Froyo - 150cals
Romaine w/ Turkey, Olives, & Vinaigrette - 200cals

Incline Walk - 250cals

NET: 260

Monday, February 18, 2013


It's painfully obvious that I'm a planner...
I thoroughly enjoy surfing the internet
and finding plans&tools
for my weight loss goals.

The Hydroxycut website has a lot of great lists&tips.
(my post a few days ago being one of them)
Here are some of my favorite from the "Fitness" section:

Day 159

Apple - 60cals
Chicken & Celery Soup - 100cals
Green Tea Latte - 150cals
Romaine w/ Turkey, Olives, & Ranch - 200cals

Run w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 310

Sunday, February 17, 2013

SI Thoughts

I got the boyfriend a Sports Illustrated subscription
(mostly for the other perks - like a cheap Madden game for his PS3)
and he excitedly receives them every week in the mail.
Last week
when I got home with our naughty Valentine's meal,
he came running in from the mailbox
with the Swimsuit Issue in hand.
Look at Kate Upton's boobs! They're unreal!
It's true... they do seem unreal...
especially after looking at last year's cover
with "last year's body"
who's boobs don't seem nearly as large.
And - all around - her body seems bigger in general.
We looked at her Antarctican spread
and both decided that she looked rather soft&thick.
Absolutely beautiful, obviously
but not toned in the slightest.
The next day
sports-talk-radio-station were questioning its viewers
on their opinions of the cover&spread.
And basically everyone agreed that she:
"could have looked better"
"Sports Illustrated didn't do her any justice."
I yelled at the dashboard
(like I usually do when listening to other peoples' comments)
arguing that that is both Kate&SI's intentions:
to promote the "real woman."
I think she may have even put on a few pounds
since the last time she was attacked for her weight.
She's known for her curves.
Her "natural body" is marketable.
That is her brand ... and she's owning it.
Now, I personally prefer to be tiny
and I think bones are far more beautiful than
But, to each their own, I suppose.
there is no way Kate let Sports Illustrated publish "unflattering" photos.
She knows what she's was doing.

Day 156-158

Protein Shakes w/ Lactaid Mill
Chicken Breast
Eggwhite Omelettes
Vegan Brownies [naughty naughty]
Protein Pancakes


Walk w/ Stairs

Not the worst weekend
but not the best.

Probably averaged 500cal days.


Thursday, February 14, 2013


Here's the thing about Cheat Meals:
you're supposed to look forward to them
crave them all day
savor every bite of them.
Well, I believe I've finally conquered
my own mind,
because, rather than enjoy them, I think
how much I'll have to vomit
how stretched my stomach will be
how long it will take to rid my body
of the "cheats" I'm supposed to want.
As of late,
my favorite treats have been
Wasabi Peas & Peanut Butter Protein Shakes
but since I gave up dairy for Lent
and the peas are so expensive
I won't have either one for a while.

I crave thin
far more than I crave anything.

Obvs: I didn't do very well fasting.

Day 155

Apple - 50cals
Vegan Chocolate Froyo - 400cals
Spinach w/ Peas & Lowfat Dressing - 250cals

Incline Treadmill - 200cals

NET: 500 [300]

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Early V-Day

Since Valentine's Day falls a day after Lent begins
we opted to have our dirty-cheat-meal tonight.
The boyfriend has a headcold
thus stayed home from work
so I surprised him with the goodies we'd discussed:
Deep Dish Cheese Pizza & Cinnamon Rolls
A disgustingly delicious dairy bomb
of his favorite treats before Lent's kick-off.
Tomorrow starts: NO DAIRY.
I was a good-little-bulimic girl
and threw up all the shit we ate,
but I certainly enjoyed the last indulgence
on its way down.

126lbs this morning.
I've been consistently down there
so that's nice.
If I net 400calories a day...
I should lose 2lbs a week
which means I'll be fasting tomorrow.
Green Tea - Coffee - Water

Day 154

Apple - 50cals
Tuna Unwich - 200cals
Deep Dish Pizza - 1000cals
Cinnamon Rolls - 200cals

Walk - 150cals

NET: 1300 [300]

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Burnin' 200

I thought this was an interesting&uplifting list
for those days I just can't talk myself into a "real workout."

  • Dancing to your favorite music for 30-35 minutes
  • Skipping with a rope moderately (70 jumps per minute) for 22 minutes
  • Washing & waxing a car for 55-60 minutes
  • Housework (vacuuming included) for 50 minutes
  • Brisk walking for 40 minutes
  • Hiking for 25 minutes
  • Playing softball or baseball for 30 minutes
  • Gardening for 45-50 minutes
  • Water aerobics for 35 minutes
  • Painting for 35 minutes
    *Estimates based on a 150 lb. individual.

Day 153

Apple - 60cals
Romaine & Tuna - 50cals
Peanut Butter Protein Shake - 400cals
Turkey Burgers - 200cals

Uphill Walk - 200cals

NET: 510

Monday, February 11, 2013

the LWord

I've mentioned my fluid sexuality before.
Since I can remember,
I've been attracted to guys&girls
flirted with guys&girls
fucked guys&girls.
Thus, when a show like the L Word portrays
I obviously have to watch it.
I own all seasons of this show
and every once in a while
I get on a kick to have a lil marathon.
The women are simply beautiful.
I love it.
This past weekend I had watched Season1 Disc2.
And it makes me both horny&motivated.
Now I feel like watching the Real L Word.

Day 152

Peanut Butter Protein Shake - 400cals
Romaine & Tuna - 25cals
Peanut Butter Protein Shake - 400cals
Greens - 50cals

Elliptical - 150cals
Uphill Run - 250cals

NET: 475

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Heel Confidence

The boyfriend&I went to a bar last night
to enjoy some live music.
We've familiarized ourselves with the local bands
so it's kind of fun to feel like we're "in the know."
It's funny to see some of the same people, too.
the same girls
in trendy tops - skinny pants - high heels
making me feel completely inferior.
I didn't drink last night,
so I soberly watched them bounce around
mentally noting what I'd like to shop for.
I really need to clean out my closet
- keep all the adorable thing -
and buy some new shit that compliments me.
Maybe if I had trendy tops
and skinny legs for skinny pants
I'd want to wear all my cute high heels.
I had a bitch of a friend once
who lost a ton of weight
and started wearing heels all the time...
her confidence in heels made me incredibly jealous.

Day 151

Turkey Sausage & FF Cheddar Omelette - 245cals
Peanut Butter Protein Shake - 450cals
Mashed Potatoes - 150cals
Hot & Spicy Pickles - 15cals

Jog w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 660

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Food Matters

I think my favorite aspect of the Food Matters documentary
was the way they pointed out that
eating certain foods can promote beauty from the inside out.
Yes, I want to eat to be skinny
but I want to eat to feel good
and if certain foods can positively effect my skin&hair&nails
than I'm down to try them.
Instead of piling on chemical-packed creams&lotions
I could make them pointless by eating simply.
Obviously, the moral of all of these healthy documentaries is
eating natural&simple
don't make your body work harder than it needs to
to break down food
the harder it works, the worse off you are.

These are some tips I found on Organic Authority
to "eat for your complexion."
o Vitamin A from Cartenoids: deals with inflammation, encourages cell turnover (for natural exfoliation) and strengthens your skin's defenses against clogged pores. Add a spinach or kale salad with tomatoes to your daily diet and see what happens. Reap all the benefits of vitamin A by pairing it with zinc, which helps the transportation of vitamin A from your liver to all of your tissues, including your skin.
o Which brings us to Zinc: an acne combatant, zinc helps regulate sebum production, stopping shine and preventing more breakouts. Add 1 cup chickpeas or 1/4 cup pumpkin seeds to that salad we were talking about for skin that glows without looking greasy.
o Omega-3s: The right oils can help replenish lipid-starved skin from the inside, sealing in moisture and soothing inflammation that can result from dryness. Consider adding flax oil to the dressing in the aforementioned salad to quench your skin.
o Whole Grains: if you (or your teen) have acne prone skin, try this experiment. Cut refined carbs from your diet in favor of high-fiber grains and let's talk in 12 weeks. If you don't have half as many pimples by then... well, we'll be surprised. All those processed carbs cause your pancreas to send out a surge of insulin, triggering a hormonal reaction that increases oil production and tells cells to multiply — all of which gridlocks those pores.
o Ahh, Probiotics: these beneficial bacterias help keep skin soft. When your intestines are working right, they can better absorb all of the nutrients your skin needs from your diet. Keeping that salad in mind, you can get your probiotic fix by adding a helping of tempeh or fermented veggies such as pickles or sauerkraut. Or, if you're on the train, have a kombucha on the side!

Day 150

Pumpkin Pancakes - 250cals
Roasted Turkey Breast - 50cals
Celery & Peanut Butter - 200cals
Fat Free Protein Shake - 170cals
Romaine w/ Bacon & Ranch - 275cals

Walk - 200cals

NET: 745

Friday, February 8, 2013

Hungry For Change

In Hungry For Change You Will Learn
· How to navigate your supermarket - what to buy and what to avoid
· The real truth behind "DIET", "SUGAR-FREE" and "FAT-FREE" products
· How to overcome food addictions and cravings
· Why fad diets don't work
· What food additives to avoid and how to read labels
· What is fat and cellulite and how do we get rid of it for good
· The most effective detox and cleansing strategies, and
· How to eat for clear eyes, glowing skin and healthy hair

Day 149

Hot & Spicy Pickles - 15cals
Chicken & Celery Soup - 100cals
Brussel Sprouts - 40cals
Turkey Patties - 360cals

Legs & Cycling - 300cals

NET: 215

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Haunted Lyrics

-Holly Brook-

They woke me up again;

It’s going to be another restless sleep tonight.
The ghosts inside my head
Are moving furniture and eating dynamite.
They’re moving furniture and eating dynamite.

Take me up the rill to haunted hill.
Past the floating bridge, the orphanage,
Where the spirits fly and never die.
Where the spirits fly and never die, die, die, die.
Die, Die, Die, Die.

There it’s always cold.
Well I’ve got a fever and I’d like to make it snow.
That’s why I feel so old.
All these specters need a better place to go.
All these specters need a better place to go.

We could get a chill on haunted hill,
Where the saddest parts inside my heart,
Can live in the past, leave me at last.
Can live in the past, leave me at last.

Leave me with good will on haunted hill.
Past the floating bridge, the orphanage,
Where the spirits fly and never die.
Where the spirits fly and never die, die, die, die.

Die, Die, Die, Die.

Day 148

Chicken & Celery Soup - 100cals
Dark Chocolate - 80cals
Hot & Spicy Pickles - 10cals
Spinach w/ Chicken - 150cals

Elliptical - 200cals

NET: 140

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Olga Estupinan

I've been getting Alloy magazines
since I was in high school
and this model seems to have always been around.
I remember when I first started admiring
the model inside the clothes,
she just looked like a happy&beautiful girl.
As I've gotten older
and the magazine consistently still delivered,
Olga Estupinan has gotten thin& sensual
she's often the one to wear cropped tops
with her belly showing
or off-the-shoulder outfits
exposing those protruding collar bones.
I also google imaged her for this post
and quite a few her nude modeling photos appeared.
She's gorgeous&natural
and I love looking at her photos
even if I never order from the magazine any more.

Day 147

Chicken & Celery Soup - 150cals
Brussel Sprouts - 30cals
Dark Chocolate - 80cals
Spinach Salad w/ Chicken - 100cals

Incline Walk - 340cals

NET: 20

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Thinspo Movies

I went on a documentary craze
last Friday during work.
I didn't feel like starting a new TV show
was suggested to me by Netflix.
From there, I watched "Food Matters"
then a couple different ones on
local farming
eating fresh
the dangers of the meat industry.
(maybe I'll discuss those later.)
All of which were so interesting
and inspirational.
I wish everyone I care about
would watch Hungry For Change.
It was worded so well
and seemed so relateable
without being extreme
or attacking.
I definitely recommend it
and sometimes I think documentaries
are the most fun way to learn.
(more detailed reviews to come.)

I found a list of thispo movies last week,
so maybe I'll have some reviews on these soon.
-For the love of Nancy
-Hunger Point
-Kate’s Secret
-Sharing the Secret
-Little Girls in Pretty Boxes
-Perfect Body
-The Best Little Girl In the World
-Dying to Dance
-A Secret Between Friend

Day 146

Natural Peanut Butter - 200cals
Apple - 50cals
Turkey Chili - 200cals
Wasabi Peas - 120cals
Spinach Salad - 150cals

Treadmill on Incline - 350cals

NET: 370