Thursday, December 31, 2015

Random Outfits

Super old outfit photos from an unpublished draft in 2014...

Monday, December 28, 2015

Snooki Workouts

I know she's old news
but she's still adorable.
Before & After
She's so cute.
I really wish I had a trainer
to light a fire under my fat butt.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Feeling Fat!

How did I miss this, Facebook!?
I would have used it all the time!
Too funny.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Muffin Maker

I love to make muffins.
Whenever I have browning bananas laying around
I immediately decide to make muffins.
Often, though, I don't even eat them.
I share them with my roommates or coworkers...
and somehow get out of eating them myself.
It's really just the baking part I love.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Kaitlyn's Insta

Kaitlyn wasn't my favorite on this past season of the Bachelor,
but I started following her on Instagram
and she's definitely thinsiraptional.
I'm still #TeamBritt, though.
Kaitlyn is one of those girls who knows she's tiny
and tries to play off the "I'm so cute" card effortlessly.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Running Rat

February & March
Spent 2 months as a hotel gym rat...
...wishing I could see more results.
I was half marathon training almost every night
even when I spent my days in classes & studying.
I must have simply been eating too much of that cafeteria food
cause even with 800calorie-burning workouts
I didn't seem any smaller.
October & November & December
Now I spend at least 3 nights a week at a hotel...
...and I think I finally may be seeing results.
But it's hard to keep a consistent workout schedule.
Sometimes it's late at night or early in the morning
and sometimes I'm simply exhausted after a long day
but I told myself I have to at least do 30mins of cardio.
For a couple of months now,
I've stuck with my plan well.
Sometimes I feel guilty that 30mins seems like so little,
but it's better than nothing
and I figure -after being on my feet all day- I don't need a ton.
I can tell my thighs&butt are tightening up again, too. 

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

London Thin

On a day off I had a BravoTV marathon and got hooked on Ladies of London.
Mostly, I loved the scenery and, quite honestly, hated the fashion.
My favorite ones are Marissa and Annabelle.
(Blonde in the yellow & Brunette with the bangs)
They're both thin&beautiful and less dramatic&cliquie than the others.

Monday, December 14, 2015

a mess

It's been a while.
I know.
Just enough time for me to make a royal mess of my life.
The BF&I were pretty much done in July.
Of course, before I could even accept the change: I met someone.
At first I tried to avoid it.
...brush it off & neglect my desire to be near him.
But then I moved in with him.
Cause I'm an absolute idiot.
And the magical moments seeped into my brain.
He'd come home and rush up the stairs to hug me
...just to hug me cause he needed to.
He'd cook for me and snuggle me and smile at me 24/7.
We chose not to discuss our past relationships.
We tried to keep things casual
...but the emotions were running high.
And at some point, I said too much.
I shared too much.
I got too vulnerable.
And while he was discussing his desires to pack on some muscle
I was letting my ED issues show through,
which was not a topic he understood too well.
Worry & critiquing.
Telling me to be "healthy" and not to "starve."
So I've realized I need an outlet.
As I've started purging again and I AM trying to starve most days
I need somewhere to speak
so I don't let anything slip to him.
If he even wants me anymore, that is.
I posted a photo of my ex and I on FB while I was tipsy
and now he's asked for some days to think
until we can talk in person.
I don't want to lose him.
And I want to lose 15lbs.
One positive point is that the stress of this silence ruins my appetite.

I had a bunch of drafts to publish back in March.
I'll begin by getting those out once per day
when I don't have anything else to get off my chest.