Monday, December 30, 2013

Skinny Miley

Days 384-386

Day 384
Breakfast:
Sausage w/ Cheese - 200cals
Lunch:
Chili w/ Frittos - 300cals
Dinner:
Pistacios - 50cals

Exercise:
Moving Furniture - 300cals

Day 385
Breakfast:
Scrambled Eggs w/ Hashbrowns - 300cals
Lunch:
Black Bean Soup w/ Baguette - 300cals
Dinner:
Cheese Ravioli - 300cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 200cals

Day 386
Breakfast:
Yogert - 100cals
Lunch:
Fat Free Cottage Cheese - 300cals
Dinner:
Deep Dish Pizza - 300cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 150cals

NET: 1500

Friday, December 27, 2013

Fat Fashion Dont's

If you have no defined waist
you should never rock the crop top
even in a high-waisted shirt to hide your belly.
And if you don't have awesome thighs
you shouldn't wear the shortest dress ever.

Day 383

Lunch:
Chili w/ Fritos - 300cals
Dinner:
Rueben - 500cals
Dessert:
Chocolates - 300cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 900

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Garter&Legs


Days 380-382

Day 380
Lunch:
Chili w/ Fritos - 300cals
Dinner:
Pickle Roll-Ups - 200cals

Exercise:
3mi Run - 400cals

Day 381
Breakfast:
Cinnamon Roll - 200cals
Sausage Links - 200cals
Lunch:
Turkey, Corn, Potatoes, & Gravy - 500cals
Dinner:
Popcorn - 200cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 200cals

Day 382
Lunch:
Summer Sausage w/ Cheese - 300cals
Dinner:
Potato Soup - 200cals

Exercise:
3mi Runs - 400cals
Abs & Arms - 100cals

NET: 1100

Monday, December 23, 2013

Facebookness


Days 377-379

Day 377
Lunch:
Mashed Potatoes, Corn, & Gravy - 300cals
Roast Beef - 150cals
Dinner:
Chili w/ Fritos - 300cals

Exercise:
3mi Run - 400cals

Day 378
Lunch:
Cottage Cheese - 200cals
Dinner:
Spaghetti w/ Meatballs - 300cals
Dessert:
Peanut Butter Pie - 100cals
Eggnog w/ Brandy - 300cals

Exercise:
3mi Run - 400cals
Abs & Arms - 200cals

Day 379
Breakfast:
Cottage Cheese - 200cals
Lunch:
Popcorn - 150cals
Dinner:
Chili w/ Fritos - 300cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 1100

Friday, December 20, 2013

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Things To Do

Sometimes you just need to distract yourself.
I do it with wine a lot.
I've been trying to cut back
on that sugary-beverage-intake
but I still find myself distracting with wine
and the painting of nails
(though lately I've opted to get them done)
instead of stuffing my face when I get home.
Drink Wine
Paint Nails

Day 375

Breakfast:
Roasted Almonds - 150cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ Croutons - 200cals
Snack:
Chocolates - 200cals
Dinner:
Cheesy Rice - 200cals

NET: 750

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Preggo Friend

One of my best girlfriends is pregnant.
She looks like a Barbie.
I'm sure she'll be an adorable preggo lady.
She was joking about her dissapointment
in discovering she only needed to eat
300extra calories for the baby.
"I wanted to eat for two, damnit!"
Cracked me up.
I'm sure she'll never be "that girl"
that gets&stays super fat, though.
She works out & eats right
and she'll be one of "those moms"
who probably loses even more weight after.

Day 374

Breakfast:
Yogert w/ Orange - 150cals
Lunch:
Cottage Cheese w/ Pickles - 200cals
Dinner:
Pizza w/ Bacon - 200cals
Roasted Almonds - 200cals
Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 150cals
NET: 600

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Days.

I'm feeling very old lately.
very useless.
very underwhelmed.
I'm feeling like I've missed everything
...like I'm stuck.
I wish I was stoned.
I wish I fucked all the time.
I wish I worked out more.
I wish I read books.
.stretch my mind.
.control my body.
.dominat my world.
I was so motivated just weeks ago
and now I am just a slob.
.a bloated&lonely slob.
I need to find myself again.
I went through a Chips&Queso phase.
Last week I ate that 2 Days In a Row.
I know its not that naughty
and I know my intake isn't that high
but I haven't been working out enough
to allow myself to eat at all.
Guh. I suck.

Day 373

Breakfast:
Yogert w/ Orange - 150cals
Lunch:
Cottage Cheese w/ Pickles - 300cals
Snack:
Fruit Cake - 300cals
Dinner:


Exercise:


NET:

Monday, December 16, 2013

Garter Fun

The boyfriend&I went to a wedding last month
and the pictures are finally out.
I caught the bouquet and he the garter
so they called us on stage
and [in our drunkeness] we acted pretty silly.
I must admit:
I didn't look so bad.
I'd done a good job dieting for that dress
and my legs looked alright while
the boyfriend is exposed my crotch.
I definitely need to keep losing
but it's nice to see my progress on film.

Days 370-372

Day 170
Breakfast:
BBQ Chips - 200cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ Italian - 200cals
Dinner:
Pizza w/ Bacon - 300cals

Exercise:
Moving Furniture/Cleaning - 300cals

Day 171
Breakfast:
BBQ Chips - 200cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ Italian - 150cals
Dinner:
Pizza w/ Bacon - 500cals

Exercise:
Moving Furniture/Cleaning - 300cals

Day 172
Breakfast:
Hard Boiled Eggs - 100cals
Lunch:
Vegetable Soup - 200cals
Dinner:
Bagel w/ Cream Cheese - 300cals
Deli Meat - 150cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 150cals

NET: 1550

Thursday, December 12, 2013

PostSecret Thinspo

Day 368

Lunch:
Salad w/ Hard Boiled Eggs - 200cals
Snack:
Chips & Queso - 750cals
Dinner:
Swordfish - 200cals
Drinks:
Wine - 150cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 1100

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Magazine Thin

I want people to say:
"She's gone too far."
and discribe me as "too skinny."
Instead, I seem to have been too thin
but now I'm on the Mary-Kate bloat plan.
Shit.

Day 367

Lunch:
Lemon Rice Soup - 200cals
Snack:
Hersey Kisses - 150cals
Dinner:
Cheddar Broccoli Soup - 150cals
Bagel w/ Light Cream Cheese - 200cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 200cals

NET: 500

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Thin Thighs

 My thighs have never been thin
but occasionally they'll look small.
The winter of 2009 [see photo above] they were little
and recently they shrink right after a cycling sess
but they've never been consistantly ittybitty.
I just bought the book:
"Thin Thighs in 30 Days"
I think it's an older book
but I remember wanting it years ago
so I went ahead and ordered it.
My plan is to really have a kick-ass January.
I know - I know
everyone has a New Years Resolution
but I'm gonna take mine very seriously
and I need an End of January Motivator.

Day 366

Lunch:
Salad w/ Hardboiled Egg - 250cals
Snack:
Dark Chocolate Kisses - 100cals
Dinner:
Chili Cheese Fries - 200cals
Greek Salad - 150cals
Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 150cals

NET: 550

Monday, December 9, 2013

Angus&Julia - All Of Me

Is there a cure for this pain
Maybe I should have something to eat
But food won't take this emptiness away
I'm hungry for you my love


Well I made it through another day
In my cold room
On scraps and pieces left behind
I survive on the memory of you

All Of me is all for you - You're all I see
All of me is all for you - You're all I need

Is there a remedy for waiting
For loves victorious return
Is there a remedy for hating
Every second that I'm without you

All of me is all for you - You're all I see
All of me is all for you - You're all I need

All this life is all for love
It's the only road I'll choose
And every street and avenue
Only one will lead me to you

All of me is all for you - You're all I see
All of me is all for you - You're all I need

One Love, One Love, One Love
One Love, One Love, One Love

Days 363-365

Day 363
Breakfast:
Bacon & Cheddar Omelette - 250cals
Lunch:
Boneless Wings - 200cals
BBQ Chips - 200cals
Snack:
No Bake Cookies - 150cals
Dinner:
Broccoli Soup - 100cals
Beer - 200cals

Exercise:
Moving Furniture - 100cals
Walk w/ Hills&Stairs - 200cals

Day 364
Lunch:
Bread Sticks - 300cals
Snack:
No Bake Cookies - 100cals
Dinner:
Burrito - 200cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 250cals

Day 365
Breakfast:
Frosted Brownie - 200cals Lunch:
Hard Boiled Eggs - 150cals
Dinner:
Pizza - 200cals
Exercise:
Cycling - 250cals

NET: 1450

Friday, December 6, 2013

AudrinaThin

So many people were commenting on this
saying they thought she looked gross untouched.
I like the way her rib&hip bones pop out, though.
She almost looks chunky in the magazine cover.
I'd rather be bone skinny & look it in pictures.
It's ironic that celebs work so hard to by tiny
then allow photoshop like this to dodge ridicule.
She's little - she probably tries to be that way...
it's sad that she wants to hide it for a magazine.

Day 362

Lunch:
Vegetable Soup - 150cals
Apple - 60cals
Dinner:
Cheese Bread - 200cals
Late-Night-Snack:
Wine - 100cals

Exercise:
Walk - 100cals

NET: 410

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Petite Pants

Size 2 Petite Work Pants
- Ann Taylor no less -
a tiny-professional-person dresser.

Day 361

Breakfast:
Hard Boiled Eggwhites - 100cals
Lunch:
Broccoli w/ Cheese - 200cals
Snack:
Cucumber w/ Hummus - 100cals
Dinner:
Bacon Pizza - 200cals
Exercise:
Cycling - 200cals

NET: 400

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Inspire Me


Days 359-360

Day 359
Breakfast:
Cottage Cheese - 200cals
Lunch:
Hard Boiled Eggwhites - 100cals
Pickles - 100cals
Snack:
Chips & Queso - 200cals
Dinner:
Salami - 200cals
Cookie Dough - 100cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 150cals

Day 360
Breakfast:
Carrots & Hummus - 300cals
Lunch:
Hard Boiled Eggwhites - 100cals
Pickles - 100cals
Dinner:
Salami - 200cals
Cookie Dough - 100cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 200cals

NET: 1350

Monday, December 2, 2013

Black&White Inspiration

I will be strong.
I will move on
from this hold fat&food have on me.
I will be happy and tiny again.
I won't eat.
I won't be fat.
I won't be a freak.
I won't be an alcoholic.
I will read all the time.
I don't need anyone's attention
but I will have it.
I'll never truly let anyone in.
I won't smoke cigs
I will smoke weed.
I am not a slut
but I will have sex.

Day 358

Lunch:
Salad w/ Hard Boiled Eggs - 300cals
Snack:
Steamed Broccoli - 100cals
Dinner:
Turkey Sausage - 300cals
Sloppy Joe - 200cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 250cals

NET: 650

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Not Failing

I've been looking through old pictures lately
to gain inspiration
and rediscover myself.
I was my smallest from Fall 2008-Spring 2010.
When I think about those days
I don't think about how tiny I was
I think of all that I was going through.
My lover started cheating in Fall 2008.
We battled over&for our relationship for a year.
Then she killed herself.
And I starved through a blacked out depression
till Spring 2010.
Then I got fat.
Really really fat.
I moved away:
I stayed fat.
I moved back home:
I stayed fat.
I moved a couple more times:
I stayed fat.
I've always battled...
always yo-yo'd...
but basically for THREE & A HALF YEARS:
I've been fat.
I've said a million times that
I felt I'd "woken up"
and gotten my grasp back on myself
but I feel that now
I finally realize that I'd never been myself at all.
Myself was that girl who knew her emotions
who starved through them on her own
to deal with all that was happening.
Myself was that girl who discovered adderal
before that Thanksgiving vacation in 2008
and decided that emptiness was all she cared to feel.
And for the first time since the black out:
I feel like myself.
And myself is fragile&emotional.
Myself has gone through heartache&loss.
Myself will not be fat anymore.
It took me a while in 2008
to get down the my smallest recoded weight
but starting at Thanksgiving again
I will find my way back
down-down-down to tiny.

Days 354-357

Intake 354-356:
Turkey
Potatoes
Broccoli & Cheddar Casserole
Chips & Queso
McDonalds Breakfast
French Fries
Bean Burritos
Pizza
Chips
Beer

Intake 357:
Diet Coke
Coffee
Laxatives
Laxative Tea

Output:
Walk w/ Stairs & Hills

NET: FAT FAT FAT GAIN

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Oh, Amazon.

...the things you find on Amazon.
Some people's reviews of items crack me up
and make me jealous
when they talk about how tiny they are.
I want to be able to say that I'm "very petite"
and proudly proclaim a 95lb weight.
Also, I really don't understand
why that model doesn't have a shirt on...
especially with those lovehandles.
So random.

Day 353

Breakfast:
Banana Nut Bread - 100cals
Lunch:
Celery & Hummus - 150cals
Chips & Queso - 300cals
Dinner:
Veggie Patty - 150cals
Exercise:


NET: 

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

White Tee

This was one of my favorite t-shirts.
(back in the day)
I remember wearing it with this pair of
old-worn-out jeans
and feeling so sexy.
A t-shirt&jeans made me feel unstopable.
Nowaday, I have to wear big sweaters
leggings&tights
bodysuites&undershirts
to ensure I'm hiding my fat body.
Last Thursday, though, I went t-shirt&jeans
and felt surprisingly good.
Sure, I'm still a solid 10lbs heavier
than I was in the above pictures
but I'm getting back to where I was
and getting back to feeling good.
Slowly but surely.

Day 352

Breakfast:
Yogurt - 150cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ Hardboiled Egg - 400cals
Dinner:
Pizza - 300cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 600cals

NET: 250

Monday, November 25, 2013

TV Thin

TV is such a wonderful source for Thinspo.
Well - sictoms are...
...reality TV is full of fatties.
Like TLC - goodness, so many chunkers.
First there's Brothers and Sisters
Kitty (Calista Flockhart) looking tiny as ever
and then there's Hart of Dixie
a show full of skinny characters including
I think it's nice to see those bony celebs on TV.
When I was in California
I went to a taping of the Kris Jenner Show
(which, laughably, is already cancelled)
and the episode featured Denise Richards.
She was rediculously thin...
even thinner than she looks in pictures&TV
so it proves the camera really does add pounds!

Day 351

Breakfast:
Yogert - 150cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ Hard Boiled Egg - 200cals
Snack:
Pickle - 10cals
Dinner:
Chili w/ Fritos - 500cals
Cookie Dough - 100cals


Exercise:
Cycling - 250cals

NET: 710

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Walk & Burn

This past weekend I went to Chicago
for a day of shopping with my mom.
She has this thing called a FitBit
that hooks to your body and calculates your exercise.
According to her
we walked 18,038 seps totalling 7.42 miles
and burned 2,264 calories.
Pretty impressive for shopping
and considering we only ate one meal the whole day
our NET was exactly what I like to see.
Too bad I can't walk that much every day.
Back to daily cycling till Christmas instead.

Days 349-350

Day 349
Lunch:
Pizza w/ Garlic - 400cals
Dinner:
Diet Coke - 0
Sausage & Cheese Cubes - 200cals

Exercise:
All-Day Shopping Walk - 2250cals

Day 350
Breakfast:
Corned Beef Hash & Eggs - 400cals
Lunch:
Boneless Wings - 300cals
Cookie - 100cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 150cals

NET: -1000

Friday, November 22, 2013

Celeb Bones

This bony celebs are very thinspirational to me.
Where are my bones?
They need to show themselves.
These woman clearly work hard
to show off thie bones
whether they admit it or not.
And I need to work hard, too.
Esther Anderson
Denise Richards
Selma Blair