Inner Thighs

It's SO frustrating to work&work&work

and never see them shrink.

C'mon, Thighs!

Please, Please, Please

GET SMALLER!

Time to do inner-thigh-workouts

EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Day 169

Breakfast:
Apple - 50cals
Lunch:
Chicken Stir Fry - 400cals
Dinner:
Corned Beef Omelette w/ FF Cheese - 300cals
Snack:
Apple Cinnamon Fiber Muffin - 140cals

Exercise:
Jog w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 690

Incline Time

I've been really into incline walks&jogs lately.

Instead of killing myself on the elliptical

I simply put the treadmill on the highest incline

then walk or jog at a reasonable pace.

I make sure not to hold on

so I work as hard as possible

and basically end up doing a million lunges.

In a 20 minute workout

I burn about 250-300cals

while the boyfriend runs 5 miles

and only burns about 2x as much.

It may sound lazy of me,

but I like that my effort gives me so much

without nearly as much sweat&energy.

(especially when I'm not taking in many calories.)

I can't wait for summer runs on the beach.

Those are totally worth the work.

Day 168

Breakfast:
Apple - 50cals
Lunch:
Chicken Stir Fry - 400cals
Snack:
Tootsie Rolls - 140cals
Dinner:
Romaine w/ Chicken & Thousand Island - 250cals

Exercise:
Jog with Stairs - 200cals

NET: 640

Fuckable

It's frustrating to think

that I work so hard on my body

and the boyfriend doesn't try to fuck me 24/7.

He's kind of shy... I'll give him that.

But, c'mon... really!?

I work my ass off (literally) to look good

and he doesn't even take advantage of the goods.

I almost have to beg got sex

or make it painfully obvious that I want it

then it's not really even worth the effort for me.

I guess I'll simply by tiny for myself

cause he doesn't seem to fuck me more-or-less

whether I'm chunky or bony.

Day 167

Breakfast:
Bagel w/ FF CreamCheese - 250cals
Apple - 50cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ FF Italian - 150cals
Snack:
Tootsie Rolls - 150cals
Dinner:
Juevos Rancheros - 210cals
[THROW UP]

Exercise:
Jog w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 610 [410]

Sexy Sweats

Sometimes, I feel the sexiest in my sweatpants.

When they're hanging off my hips

&

slouching down under my bones I feel like:

If I can look tiny in a pair of thick sweats

that are two sizes too big&baggy,

then I must actually be tiny.

When I want to wear a skin-tight top,

I know I'm feelin' good.

And - lately - I've definitely been feelin' it.

Day 166

Breakfast:
Apple - 50cals
Lunch:
Romaine w/ Pepper & Egg - 150cals
Snack:
Peanut Butter Protein Shake - 100cals
Dinner:
Crinkle Cut Fries - 200cals
Bagel w/ FF CreamCheese - 250cals
[THROW UP]

Exercise:
Jog w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 550 [350]

GainLossTheory

So, I'm a big fan of the Big Bang Theory

and I can't help but notice

how often the character Penny

(Kaley Cuoco)

fluctuates in weight.

She's definitely never fat...

but it's like she gets bloated all the time

and I find it so strange.

In all the advertisements, she looks flawless

of course

but the actual episodes make me want to

jump behind the scenes & shake her dietitian

for letting her get so puffy so often.

Don't get me wrong:

I think she's beautiful&adorable&cute

but someone should give her a little advice

(and take away her high-schooler clothes for public events)

to really emphasize her strong points.

While I was trying to find a good comparative pictures

of her weight gain&loss

I came across this Lifetime movie she was in

that I actually saw forever ago without realizing it was her.

Kind of funny.

Day 163-165

163
Intake:
Apple, Salad, Vegan Protein Shake, Chips & Cheese
Exercise:
Uphill Run

164
Intake:
Stir Fry, Dove Chocolates, Apples, [too much] MaryJane
Exercise:
Walk

165
Intake:
Egg Sandwich, Lemon Rice Soup, Sloppy Joe, Apple, Bagel w/ CreamCheese
[THROW UP]
Exercise:
Run

NET: 500ish

Flower Pants

I bought these floral pants last fall

but thought my thighs looked way too fat in them.

I finally decided to wear them to work

(still not feeling completely comfortable)

but I knew I had to get over it

and wear what I insisted on purchasing.

I guess they didn't look too bad.

I can't wait to actually look&feel good in them.

Day 162

Breakfast:
Eggwhite w/ Chicken Sausage - 100cals
Lunch:
Iceburg w/ Peppers, Eggs, & FF Italian - 150cals
Oatmeal Raisin Cookie - 200cals
Chocolate Caramel - 100cals
Snack:
Peanut Butter Protein Shake (Lactaid Milk) - 100cals
Dinner:
Vegetable Lo Mein - 200cals

Exercise:
Incline Jog - 250cals

NET: 600

Lilly's Loss

Reruns of How I Met Your Mother

seem to be on TV every single night

and - though I've never followed the show - 

I always watch it.

The other night's episode

was days before Lily&Marshall's wedding

and Lily decided to try on her dress for Robin.

When she throws her arms up in excitement

the dress falls down around her waist

and she gasps&screams something about:

losing weight on accident.

Gross&Unreal.

(though she does look really skinny at the time in the series)

So she goes on a binge...

trying to gain weight for the wedding.

Lily: I lost a pound! 
Robin: That is impossible!
You ate McDonalds for 3 days. 
Lily: I knew that Super Size Me guy was full of it!

I wish I could lose on accident.

Then get to eat all the things I crave...

blah.

I can't wait for some of clothes are too big.

I'm due for a shopping-spree

and some confidence boosters.

Day 161

Breakfast:
Apple - 60cals
Cuties - 90cals
Lunch:
Chicken & Celery Soup - 100cals
Snack:
Chips & Guac - 200cals
Dinner:
Chicken Breast & Broccoli - 200cals

Exercise:
Jog w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 450

.5&aWeek

125.5lbs this morning.

So close!

I still have to drop .5

and

maintain it for a week

before I can reward myself with a tattoo.

Ugh.

Slow&Steady wins the race, I suppose.

I can't believe I'm at an all-time low
for the past year
and I'm still not even
under 125lbs OR 10lbs down.
Pathetic.
Especially for how hard I work.

Day 160

Breakfast:
Apple - 60cals
Lunch:
Chicken & Celery Soup - 100cals
Snack:
Sugar Free Vegan Froyo - 150cals
Dinner:
Romaine w/ Turkey, Olives, & Vinaigrette - 200cals

Exercise:
Incline Walk - 250cals

NET: 260

Hydroxylinks

It's painfully obvious that I'm a planner...

I thoroughly enjoy surfing the internet

and finding plans&tools

for my weight loss goals.

The Hydroxycut website has a lot of great lists&tips.

(my post a few days ago being one of them)

Here are some of my favorite from the "Fitness" section:

Cardio for Weight Loss Routine

Get Fit At Work

Get Fit At Home

Get Organized for Weight Loss

Shape Up For Summer

Day 159

Breakfast:
Apple - 60cals
Lunch:
Chicken & Celery Soup - 100cals
Snack:
Green Tea Latte - 150cals
Dinner:
Romaine w/ Turkey, Olives, & Ranch - 200cals

Exercise:
Run w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 310

SI Thoughts

I got the boyfriend a Sports Illustrated subscription

(mostly for the other perks - like a cheap Madden game for his PS3)

and he excitedly receives them every week in the mail.

Last week

when I got home with our naughty Valentine's meal,

he came running in from the mailbox

with the Swimsuit Issue in hand.

Look at Kate Upton's boobs! They're unreal!

It's true... they do seem unreal...

especially after looking at last year's cover

with "last year's body"

who's boobs don't seem nearly as large.

And - all around - her body seems bigger in general.

We looked at her Antarctican spread

and both decided that she looked rather soft&thick.

Absolutely beautiful, obviously

but not toned in the slightest.

The next day

sports-talk-radio-station were questioning its viewers

on their opinions of the cover&spread.

And basically everyone agreed that she:

"could have looked better"

and

"Sports Illustrated didn't do her any justice."

I yelled at the dashboard

(like I usually do when listening to other peoples' comments)

arguing that that is both Kate&SI's intentions:

to promote the "real woman."

I think she may have even put on a few pounds

since the last time she was attacked for her weight.

She's known for her curves.

Her "natural body" is marketable.

That is her brand ... and she's owning it.

Now, I personally prefer to be tiny

and I think bones are far more beautiful than

bumps&blubber.

But, to each their own, I suppose.

Long-story-short:

there is no way Kate let Sports Illustrated publish "unflattering" photos.

She knows what she's was doing.

Day 156-158

Intake:
Protein Shakes w/ Lactaid Mill
Chicken Breast
Eggwhite Omelettes
Vegan Brownies [naughty naughty]
Protein Pancakes

Output:
Laxitives
MiaMania

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs

Not the worst weekend
but not the best.

Probably averaged 500cal days.

Damnit.

Cheats&Treats

Here's the thing about Cheat Meals:

you're supposed to look forward to them

crave them all day

savor every bite of them.

Well, I believe I've finally conquered

my own mind,

because, rather than enjoy them, I think

how much I'll have to vomit

how stretched my stomach will be

how long it will take to rid my body

of the "cheats" I'm supposed to want.

As of late,

my favorite treats have been

Wasabi Peas & Peanut Butter Protein Shakes

but since I gave up dairy for Lent

and the peas are so expensive

I won't have either one for a while.

I crave thin

far more than I crave anything.

Obvs: I didn't do very well fasting.

Day 155

Breakfast:
Apple - 50cals
Lunch:
Vegan Chocolate Froyo - 400cals
Dinner:
Spinach w/ Peas & Lowfat Dressing - 250cals
[THROW UP]

Exercise:
Incline Treadmill - 200cals

NET: 500 [300]

Early V-Day

Since Valentine's Day falls a day after Lent begins

we opted to have our dirty-cheat-meal tonight.

The boyfriend has a headcold

thus stayed home from work

so I surprised him with the goodies we'd discussed:

Deep Dish Cheese Pizza & Cinnamon Rolls

A disgustingly delicious dairy bomb

of his favorite treats before Lent's kick-off.

Tomorrow starts: NO DAIRY.

I was a good-little-bulimic girl

and threw up all the shit we ate,

but I certainly enjoyed the last indulgence

on its way down.

126lbs this morning.
I've been consistently down there
so that's nice.
If I net 400calories a day...
I should lose 2lbs a week
which means I'll be fasting tomorrow.
Green Tea - Coffee - Water

Day 154

Breakfast:
Apple - 50cals
Lunch:
Tuna Unwich - 200cals
Dinner:
Deep Dish Pizza - 1000cals
Cinnamon Rolls - 200cals
[THROW UP]

Exercise:
Walk - 150cals

NET: 1300 [300]

Burnin' 200

I thought this was an interesting&uplifting list

for those days I just can't talk myself into a "real workout."

• Dancing to your favorite music for 30-35 minutes
• Skipping with a rope moderately (70 jumps per minute) for 22 minutes
• Washing & waxing a car for 55-60 minutes
• Housework (vacuuming included) for 50 minutes
• Brisk walking for 40 minutes
• Hiking for 25 minutes
• Playing softball or baseball for 30 minutes
• Gardening for 45-50 minutes
• Water aerobics for 35 minutes
• Painting for 35 minutes
  *Estimates based on a 150 lb. individual.

Day 153

Breakfast:
Apple - 60cals
Lunch:
Romaine & Tuna - 50cals
Peanut Butter Protein Shake - 400cals
Dinner:
Turkey Burgers - 200cals

Exercise:
Uphill Walk - 200cals

NET: 510

the LWord

I've mentioned my fluid sexuality before.

Since I can remember,

I've been attracted to guys&girls

flirted with guys&girls

fucked guys&girls.

Thus, when a show like the L Word portrays

gay&lesbian&bisexual&transgendered

relationships&sex&lives

I obviously have to watch it.

I own all seasons of this show

and every once in a while

I get on a kick to have a lil marathon.

The women are simply beautiful.

.Skinny&outspoken&strong.

I love it.

This past weekend I had watched Season1 Disc2.

And it makes me both horny&motivated.

Now I feel like watching the Real L Word.

Day 152

Lunch:
Peanut Butter Protein Shake - 400cals
Romaine & Tuna - 25cals
Dinner:
Peanut Butter Protein Shake - 400cals
Greens - 50cals

Exercise:
Elliptical - 150cals
Uphill Run - 250cals

NET: 475

Heel Confidence

The boyfriend&I went to a bar last night

to enjoy some live music.

We've familiarized ourselves with the local bands

so it's kind of fun to feel like we're "in the know."

It's funny to see some of the same people, too.

Over&over

the same girls

in trendy tops - skinny pants - high heels

making me feel completely inferior.

I didn't drink last night,

so I soberly watched them bounce around

mentally noting what I'd like to shop for.

I really need to clean out my closet

- keep all the adorable thing -

and buy some new shit that compliments me.

Maybe if I had trendy tops

and skinny legs for skinny pants

I'd want to wear all my cute high heels.

I had a bitch of a friend once

who lost a ton of weight

and started wearing heels all the time...

her confidence in heels made me incredibly jealous.

Day 151

Breakfast:
Turkey Sausage & FF Cheddar Omelette - 245cals
Lunch:
Peanut Butter Protein Shake - 450cals
Dinner:
Mashed Potatoes - 150cals
Snack:
Hot & Spicy Pickles - 15cals

Exercise:
Jog w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 660

Food Matters

I think my favorite aspect of the Food Matters documentary

was the way they pointed out that

eating certain foods can promote beauty from the inside out.

Yes, I want to eat to be skinny

-

but I want to eat to feel good

and if certain foods can positively effect my skin&hair&nails

than I'm down to try them.

Instead of piling on chemical-packed creams&lotions

I could make them pointless by eating simply.

Obviously, the moral of all of these healthy documentaries is

eating natural&simple

-

don't make your body work harder than it needs to

to break down food

...

the harder it works, the worse off you are.

These are some tips I found on Organic Authority

to "eat for your complexion."

o Vitamin A from Cartenoids: deals with inflammation, encourages cell turnover (for natural exfoliation) and strengthens your skin's defenses against clogged pores. Add a spinach or kale salad with tomatoes to your daily diet and see what happens. Reap all the benefits of vitamin A by pairing it with zinc, which helps the transportation of vitamin A from your liver to all of your tissues, including your skin.

o Which brings us to Zinc: an acne combatant, zinc helps regulate sebum production, stopping shine and preventing more breakouts. Add 1 cup chickpeas or 1/4 cup pumpkin seeds to that salad we were talking about for skin that glows without looking greasy.

o Omega-3s: The right oils can help replenish lipid-starved skin from the inside, sealing in moisture and soothing inflammation that can result from dryness. Consider adding flax oil to the dressing in the aforementioned salad to quench your skin.

o Whole Grains: if you (or your teen) have acne prone skin, try this experiment. Cut refined carbs from your diet in favor of high-fiber grains and let's talk in 12 weeks. If you don't have half as many pimples by then... well, we'll be surprised. All those processed carbs cause your pancreas to send out a surge of insulin, triggering a hormonal reaction that increases oil production and tells cells to multiply — all of which gridlocks those pores.

o Ahh, Probiotics: these beneficial bacterias help keep skin soft. When your intestines are working right, they can better absorb all of the nutrients your skin needs from your diet. Keeping that salad in mind, you can get your probiotic fix by adding a helping of tempeh or fermented veggies such as pickles or sauerkraut. Or, if you're on the train, have a kombucha on the side!

Day 150

Breakfast:
Pumpkin Pancakes - 250cals
Snack:
Roasted Turkey Breast - 50cals
Celery & Peanut Butter - 200cals
Lunch:
Fat Free Protein Shake - 170cals
Dinner:
Romaine w/ Bacon & Ranch - 275cals

Exercise:
Walk - 200cals

NET: 745

Hungry For Change

http://foodmatters.tv/dvds/hungry-for-change

In Hungry For Change You Will Learn

· How to navigate your supermarket - what to buy and what to avoid

· The real truth behind "DIET", "SUGAR-FREE" and "FAT-FREE" products

· How to overcome food addictions and cravings

· Why fad diets don't work

· What food additives to avoid and how to read labels

· What is fat and cellulite and how do we get rid of it for good

· The most effective detox and cleansing strategies, and

· How to eat for clear eyes, glowing skin and healthy hair

Day 149

Breakfast:
Hot & Spicy Pickles - 15cals
Lunch:
Chicken & Celery Soup - 100cals
Snack:
Brussel Sprouts - 40cals
Dinner:
Turkey Patties - 360cals

Exercise:
Legs & Cycling - 300cals

NET: 215

Haunted Lyrics

Haunted

-Holly Brook-

They woke me up again;

It’s going to be another restless sleep tonight.

The ghosts inside my head

Are moving furniture and eating dynamite.

They’re moving furniture and eating dynamite.

Take me up the rill to haunted hill.

Past the floating bridge, the orphanage,

Where the spirits fly and never die.

Where the spirits fly and never die, die, die, die.

Die, Die, Die, Die.

There it’s always cold.

Well I’ve got a fever and I’d like to make it snow.

That’s why I feel so old.

All these specters need a better place to go.

All these specters need a better place to go.

We could get a chill on haunted hill,

Where the saddest parts inside my heart,

Can live in the past, leave me at last.

Can live in the past, leave me at last.

Leave me with good will on haunted hill.

Past the floating bridge, the orphanage,

Where the spirits fly and never die.

Where the spirits fly and never die, die, die, die.

Die, Die, Die, Die.

Day 148

Lunch:
Chicken & Celery Soup - 100cals
Snack:
Dark Chocolate - 80cals
Hot & Spicy Pickles - 10cals
Dinner:
Spinach w/ Chicken - 150cals

Exercise:
Elliptical - 200cals

NET: 140

Olga Estupinan

I've been getting Alloy magazines

since I was in high school

and this model seems to have always been around.

I remember when I first started admiring

the model inside the clothes,

she just looked like a happy&beautiful girl.

As I've gotten older

and the magazine consistently still delivered,

Olga Estupinan has gotten thin& sensual

she's often the one to wear cropped tops

with her belly showing

or off-the-shoulder outfits

exposing those protruding collar bones.

I also google imaged her for this post

and quite a few her nude modeling photos appeared.

She's gorgeous&natural

and I love looking at her photos

even if I never order from the magazine any more.

Day 147

Lunch:
Chicken & Celery Soup - 150cals
Snack:
Brussel Sprouts - 30cals
Dark Chocolate - 80cals
Dinner:
Spinach Salad w/ Chicken - 100cals

Exercise:
Incline Walk - 340cals

NET: 20

Thinspo Movies

I went on a documentary craze

last Friday during work.

I didn't feel like starting a new TV show

and "Hungry For Change"

was suggested to me by Netflix.

From there, I watched "Food Matters"

then a couple different ones on

local farming

eating fresh

and

the dangers of the meat industry.

(maybe I'll discuss those later.)

All of which were so interesting

and inspirational.

I wish everyone I care about

would watch Hungry For Change.

It was worded so well

and seemed so relateable

without being extreme

or attacking.

I definitely recommend it

and sometimes I think documentaries

are the most fun way to learn.

(more detailed reviews to come.)

I found a list of thispo movies last week,

so maybe I'll have some reviews on these soon.

-For the love of Nancy

-Hunger Point

-Kate’s Secret

-Sharing the Secret

-Little Girls in Pretty Boxes

-Perfect Body

-The Best Little Girl In the World

-Dying to Dance

-A Secret Between Friend