90sInsta

I'm obsessed with this @ninetiesfashionkid instagram.

I want all the clothes from every post.

Here are a few of my favs.

Perfect Body

I follow Fitness Motivation on Twitter

and this photo was posted a while back.

Definitely a perfect body.

(and an adorable swimsuite)

Motivation.

PaigeCollins Thin

In honor of the return of Royal Pains on USA Network

I'd like to point out Paige Collins' tiny frame.

Her character is adorable

and so is her body&style.

I love all her clothes&accessories.

So excited to watch the new season.

SimpleLife Flashback

Scrolling through Buzzfeed and I ran across this gem.

Oh, how I miss Paris&Nicole

especially once Nicole got to tiny.

They were straightup outrageous&hilarious.

I wish I didn't have anything to do in life but Not Give a Fuck.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/itsberghayyy/the-25-most-important-things-we-learned-from-the-b1ei

BabyBootySelfie

Trashy Version of a Baby Selfie

my used-to-be-preggo friend did it better.

So True

I'm always looking for something

I definitely know too many girls who've perfected the selfie...

Fatty-Free Bench

I can't remember where I found this picture, but I thought it was wild.
I can't lie, most fat people honestly appall me.
When I see someone in a motorized scooter at the store
carting themselves around purely because they're gigantic
I want to break the scooter.
Or - most angering - are huge parents with huge children.
Not nice.
Needless to say: I dig this bench.
And I always wanted a park created in my honor upon my death.

Facebookness Revisited

I feel like I need to go back and expand on some posts from last winter.

Take for instance my "Facebookness" post.

It's sad that celebrities have to defend themselves.

I'm definitely a fan of flippin' through US Weekly and checkin' out all the bodies

and I certainly have my opinions while doing so

but to publicly attack&harass someone on their facebook seems wild to me.

I think Miranda Lambert looks great.

I got sick of seeing her picture all over the place for her weightloss

but America loves a good comeback story, so it's no surprise.

I agree with her criticism of "the scale" and appreciate her emphasis on diet&exercise

instead of the pills&cleanses some celebs endorse.

I definitely get bogged down when I see "129lbs" when all I want is "119lbs"

but I know that it's about how I feel and confidence is key.

Secondly, I very irritated with the Tara Lynn rage

mostly because she's so not plus sized in my mind and so many praised her anyway.

And I think this cover was overly photoshopped cos she looks much bigger usually.

But also because of the ignorant things so many people say.

Like I said in my post about Miss USA:

It's sad that we cling to the "bigger" girls.

It's sad that we worship someone for not being thin.

Why do we have to pick a side to latch to at all?

(probably because the population of chubbos we've turned into needs an icon.)

Ugh, Breakouts.

I've actually been using Proactiv since March.

I feel like my face got worse for a while there

but it's finally getting better.

Not tanning since fall has definitely

brought out the nature of my skin.

(which isn't necessarily a good thing.)

I've always known that clean eating was key.

I can totally tell when I eat garbage

and my face blows up.

It's like my pours fill with fat&grease&sugar

from the inside

and I look like the shit I shove in my mouth.

So hopefully the combination

of a good cleansing&eating system

will help and I'll finally feel pretty daily.

Post-Preggo Skinny

My preggo friend had her baby last month

and sent me a baby-holding, mirror-selfie this afternoon.

Are you kidding me!? -I thought.

She's smaller than me 3-weeks post-birth.

Guh.

Her legs are toned. Her belly's flat. Her lovehandles don't exist.

Don't get me wrong: I'm totally happy for her and proud of her.

I obvs would never want one of my BF's to get fat

after bringing an adorable little bundle of joy to the world

but I obvs don't want to feel like a fatty next to someone

who just pushed another human being out of her body.

Guess I'll just have to run&diet harder.

We have to at least be equal in size.

TenantRant

Speaking of that tenant I had, I think I should go on a little rant about her. She was terrible. She'd order huge meals then not eat any and give it all to her boyfriend. She'd pretend like she loved junkfood&snacks to "fit in with the guys," but she'd never actually eat anything in front of anyone. (though there were quite a few times I saw her sneaking donuts&cookies from the office lunchroom.) She was always on a cleanse or trying some type of new laxative tea, but then she'd say, "I've never done this before - my mom bought it for me." (yeah, sure. just OWN YOUR SHIT, please!) She never exercised and when she did she wore tons of layers to "sweat more weight off." (cause that water weight didn't come right back as soon as you drank anything.) She was basically the definition of bad-body-habits and everything I hate in a girl who pretends not to diet or care but clearly does and has no idea what she's doing. Yet, most importantly, she was straight up mean. I got her a job and she treated me like garbage ...expecting me to drive her to work without gas money or enough respect to get in my car on time in the mornings. Once she started skipping all the time to hang out with her boyfriend or play up an illness, they fired her and she blamed me. She parked in my spot in my driveway. She ran a space heater day&night to sky-rocket my electricity bill without increasing her monthly rent payment. She barely paid her monthly rent payments in full or on time. She took too many showers too often for too long and insisted on doing a million tiny loads of laundry. She was basically the devil in a bitchy, soft-bodied twenty-something-year-old with lofty goals for thin but not enough ambition for follow-through. Now though, in my daily runs, I tell myself to look better than her. I keep her love-handles tattooed in my memory to motivate me to properly take care of myself, my body, and my fitness, so I'm not scrambling to flatten out for a bikini at a weekend pool party. She's one of those girls who was born with chicken legs and bony arms, but maintains her unnatural characteristics terribly and I will never look like her. I am toned&tiny and successful&confident through hardwork&dedication and I will never look like a marshmallow on toothpicks. And I will never act like the spawn of satin to someone who's opened their home to me. End rant.

Sick Thin

Here's another post I had drafted

and never posted in the fall/winter.

Is it bad that I want a cold

so I can lose my tastebuds&appetite?

Being sick is an easy way to get thin

especially as the weather is cold.

Ironically,

I got sick right after I started half marathon training

and I think it did do me some good.

It wasn't fun to run with sniffles&sneezing

but not being able to taste anything

makes eating much less appealing.

I lived on monster&halls

and I felt pretty tiny&frail.

This past winter I had tenants in my basement.

They sucked.

My Mr.'s high school friend & his girlfriend.

Since the Mr.&I weren't even together:

it was awkward.

Since the girlfriend was a wanna-be-anorexic bitch:

it was annoying.

I'm glad they're gone.

But, anyway, she was always sick

and using it as an excuse to turn down food

and using it as a reason to avoid work

and using it as sympathy for attention from her bf.

Gross.

At least I was only sick for a week

and I still ran between 3-7 miles every day.

Thighs & Diet

I bought this book forever ago.

I think I'll finally read it.

I can't say it'll be too useful with my training,

but the thinspo can't hurt.

And the pyramid below looks beautiful

especially with my training.

Lots of liquids&supplements

to boost my energy and restore my muscles.

I've got this.

Rules of Chub

I watched Rules of Engagement (a pretty funny show) on Netflix last fall and scheduled this post but never posted it. Here it is. I do remember thinking Bianca Kajlich got chubby throughout the course of the show. Maybe it's because her imdb bio says her first marriage was ending around that time? I can definitely relate to a failing relationship affecting my body.

“How’s Jennifer’s diet going?” - Russel

“Not good. This morning I caught her eating a

hot chocolate packet&butter.” - Jeff

Rules of Engagement S4E6

I could never say that she's fat,

but she's definitely not tiny...

especially not in season 4.

I still like the show, though.

The New "Normal"

I think it's admirable that so many people applauded her confidence in an imperfect body. I, though, would not want her body. And I find it kind of sad that Americans jump so quickly to the defense of a "normal" girl while shamefully scolding the "skinny" ones. Can't everyone just be beautiful? Does anyone need to be praised for their curves ...or scrutinized for their bones? I feel like it defeats the purpose to pump up someone plumper just to sink those who are smaller. Mekayla Diehl certainly looked great and I'm not here to criticize, but I'm also not here to chose the biggest girl as the best just because she's "normal."  Also, scrolling through all the swimwear pictures, there were a lot of the girls who looked "normal."

http://www.eonline.com/news/549252/miss-usa-2014-stunning-miss-indiana-mekayla-diehl-s-normal-body-applauded-on-twitter-during-swimsuit-competition?cmpid=sn-111021-facebook-na-eonline

Wedding Weightloss

A girl I went to high school with got married over the weekend.

Now I know a lot changed from high school to now...

(2008 was 8 whole years ago!)

but I've seen this girl recently & she hadn't changed that much.

On her wedding day, though,

her pre-wedding diet&running regimen definitely shined through.

She was never a "big" girl, but she looked skeletal.

Her soft body had lost every ounce of extra

exposing only her skin&bones

even her hipbones protruded under her lace&sparkly dress.

Obvs, I'm envious of her new&tiny look,

but she's not the first girl I've seen shrink substantially for her big day

and (generally) they pack it back on after the fact

so I'll have to keep a look out.

For her sake, I hope she maintains a healthy weight.

It's sad to think she'll forever look back on her wedding pictures

and never be as small as she was that one day

but maintaining that body when it's just not natural seems awful.

Good for her, though.

Week 1 (Days 539-546)

Monday-Friday Breakfast:

Banana Flaxseed Muffin - 200cals

Monday-Friday Snack:

Peanut Butter Banana Smoothie - 200cals

Monday-Thursday Lunch:

Hummus or Egg Salad Wrap - 300cals

Monday&Tuesday Dinner:

None

Wednesday Dinner:

Veggie Hotdogs - 500cals

Kettle Cook BBQ Chips - 200cals

Wednesday Dessert:

Sugar Free Russel Stovers - 200cals

Thursday Dinner:

Calzone - 300cals

Friday Lunch:

Greek Salad - 500cals

Friday Dinner:

Cheezits - 200cals

Saturday Breakfast&Dinner:

None

Saturday Lunch:

Summer Salads @ Potluck - 500cals

Saturday Snack:

Popcorn - 300cals

Sunday Breakfast:

Cinnamon Roll - 200cals

Sunday Lunch:

Grilled Cheese & Fries - 500cals

Sunday Dinner:

Half a Doughnut - 200cals

Total Intake: 4,300cals

Running&Spinning-

20 Miles Ran - 1 Spin Class - 3,500cals Burned

Net: 800cals

A positive net is NO GOOD.

I need to be netting negative.

All this running and hard work

and I'm just drowning it with food.

This week I'll do better.

(and have much less to type!)

Sadly, I got on the scale over the weekend

(for the first time in a long time)

and the number wasn't pretty.

129lbs
At 5'3" that's not huge but not tiny.
The Mr. says it's because I'm "muscular"
and the only way I'll shrink is a "perfect diet."

Only a negative net will decrease that number.

Runs&Tunes

Not to toot my own horn,

but I think I'm doing excellent

with this half marathon training.

We did 5 miles last night.

First of all, I was barely out of breath ever.

Secondly, I kicked ass on the last 2 blocks:

s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g my stride

and carrying myself away from the Mr.

He said there was no way he could catch me,

which is nice to hear, cause he's very prideful.
3 quick miles this morning then 6 tomorrow.

I'm gonna kill this half marathon in 45 days.
I'm going to be thin&fit&tiny
and I'm going to conquer my goal
looking adorable while doing it - no doubt.

I've been cranking this on my commute

and repeating it throughout my runs.

Great tune. <3

SummerThinspo

I really wish The OC was on Netflix.
It's such a great thinspo show
and a wonderful summer-time show.
I should just buy it...
But it's so expensive
and I already own a million boxsets.

I watched Melrose Place 2.0 this week.

The series (an extension of Melrose from the 90's)

only lasted for one 18-episode season

but it was full of thin girls in TightDresses&TinyBikinis

and really made me want to go back to LA.

A nice moderate climate

and a surrounding of beautiful&fit people

is also a thinspiration living choice.

Half Marathon Training

The Mr.&I decided to train for a half marathon.

Well, basically, I decided and made a schedule

and he agreed since he's fat and needs the incentive.

April 29 was Day 1: a 4 mile fartlek.

I killed it on the straight away sprints

15 out of 16 - I kicked his butt.

And the rest is walking & slow jogging,

so that was easy enough.

I've actually felt pretty good

guess my cycling the past months has
"kept"my legs in shape.

I'll try to keep updates on the other 80 days.

Recap&Retry

I think my strict daily blogging rule

is what allows me to fall away so easily.

I get discouraged with a few days of catch-up

then give up entirely.

...not that any of you beautifuls have set these lofty goals for me...

so I think I'll cut back.

Maybe a weekly food&exercise log instead of daily

and more posts when I "feel it"

not because I have to.

To be honest, though, I didn't give up on my ambitions

even though I neglected .BeneathBones. so terribly.

My birthday was buried in these past 5 months

and I didn't even binge or gain.

I'm not sure what I weigh ...honestly.

I was going to get on the scale

...the battery was dead...

so I took it as a sign and stepped off.

I was fitted for a friend's bridesmaid dress

size 4

and since those dressed always run small

that was satisfying.

And I've consistently been running&spinning.

Gotta work a little more on my intake

but I'm not displeased.

And I've missed you, followers.

I will try to be better.

BlaBlaBlaRelationshit

I went MIA for a while

(Missing In Action - not Mia ...I wish, though.)

The boy&I basically called it quits.

He was being really shitty&useless

and I was sick of feeling like nothing&nobody.

I'd like to say I starved the frustration out of me.

But that isn't true.

I haven't gained, but I haven't lost.

I was mostly stagnant - in a blackout - doing nothing

well, besides drinking&laying

till about a month ago...

No good.

Now - I suppose - we're better,

though we have a long way to go if we wanna make it.

So, I've decided to wake back up.

Time to get my shit together

and pull myself to the surface.

Maybe I'll weigh myself next Monday.

Soon I'll expound upon my goals&motivations.

Summer's almost here...

thank fucking gawd.