Oh, Amazon.

...the things you find on Amazon.

Some people's reviews of items crack me up

and make me jealous

when they talk about how tiny they are.

I want to be able to say that I'm "very petite"

and proudly proclaim a 95lb weight.

Also, I really don't understand

why that model doesn't have a shirt on...

especially with those lovehandles.

So random.

Day 353

Breakfast:
Banana Nut Bread - 100cals
Lunch:
Celery & Hummus - 150cals
Chips & Queso - 300cals
Dinner:
Veggie Patty - 150cals
Exercise:


NET: 

White Tee

This was one of my favorite t-shirts.

(back in the day)

I remember wearing it with this pair of

old-worn-out jeans

and feeling so sexy.

A t-shirt&jeans made me feel unstopable.

Nowaday, I have to wear big sweaters

leggings&tights

bodysuites&undershirts

to ensure I'm hiding my fat body.

Last Thursday, though, I went t-shirt&jeans

and felt surprisingly good.

Sure, I'm still a solid 10lbs heavier

than I was in the above pictures

but I'm getting back to where I was

and getting back to feeling good.

Slowly but surely.

Day 352

Breakfast:
Yogurt - 150cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ Hardboiled Egg - 400cals
Dinner:
Pizza - 300cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 600cals

NET: 250

TV Thin

TV is such a wonderful source for Thinspo.

Well - sictoms are...

...reality TV is full of fatties.

Like TLC - goodness, so many chunkers.

First there's Brothers and Sisters

Kitty (Calista Flockhart) looking tiny as ever

and then there's Hart of Dixie

a show full of skinny characters including

Zoe (Rachel Bilson) and Tansy (Mircea Monroe).

I think it's nice to see those bony celebs on TV.

When I was in California

I went to a taping of the Kris Jenner Show

(which, laughably, is already cancelled)

and the episode featured Denise Richards.

She was rediculously thin...

even thinner than she looks in pictures&TV

so it proves the camera really does add pounds!

Day 351

Breakfast:
Yogert - 150cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ Hard Boiled Egg - 200cals
Snack:
Pickle - 10cals
Dinner:
Chili w/ Fritos - 500cals
Cookie Dough - 100cals


Exercise:
Cycling - 250cals

NET: 710

Walk & Burn

This past weekend I went to Chicago

for a day of shopping with my mom.

She has this thing called a FitBit

that hooks to your body and calculates your exercise.

According to her

we walked 18,038 seps totalling 7.42 miles

and burned 2,264 calories.

Pretty impressive for shopping

and considering we only ate one meal the whole day

our NET was exactly what I like to see.

Too bad I can't walk that much every day.

Back to daily cycling till Christmas instead.

Days 349-350

Day 349

Lunch:

Pizza w/ Garlic - 400cals

Dinner:

Diet Coke - 0

Sausage & Cheese Cubes - 200cals

Exercise:

All-Day Shopping Walk - 2250cals

Day 350

Breakfast:

Corned Beef Hash & Eggs - 400cals

Lunch:

Boneless Wings - 300cals

Cookie - 100cals

Exercise:

Walk w/ Stairs - 150cals

NET: -1000

Celeb Bones

This bony celebs are very thinspirational to me.

Where are my bones?

They need to show themselves.

These woman clearly work hard

to show off thie bones

whether they admit it or not.

And I need to work hard, too.

.Super Skinny Takes Work.

Esther Anderson

Denise Richards

Selma Blair

Day 348

Breakfast:
Yogert - 150cals
Lunch:
Turkey Chili - 150cals
Snack:
Tortilla Chips - 100cals
Dinner:
Vegetable Soup - 150cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 150cals

NET: 400

Random Girl

I'm "friends" with this random girl on FB.

I saw her post a picture the other day

and thought: "dang, she's skinny."

Then I realized I didn't know how I knew her

so I scrolled through her profile pictures

and realized that she used to be fat.

I bet she's lost 20-25lbs

and dyed her hair from black to blonde.

She looks adorable&tiny now.

I think it's impressive

that she owns her "fat days"

instead of deleting&hiding them all.

I need to be reminded of my disgusting days

to ensure I never want to be that way again.

Day 347

Lunch:
Salad - 150cals
Snack:
Chips & Queso - 250cals
Dinner:
Pumpkin Bread - 150cals
Bacon - 100cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 250cals

NET: 400

Motivation...

I've actually cycled every night this week.

GO ME!

I force the boyfriend to time me

and make sure I never got off the bike

and I read a book while I peddle.

My legs are feeling nice&tight.

My thighs will be tiny by Christmas.

I'll be out of town this weekend

so I'll have to double up tomorrow night

walk extra fast&hard on Saturday while shopping

and get back to it Sunday evening.

Let's see how many dollars I can save.

...and I really should invest in some sticks&cups.

I've just been doing 100crunches & planks nightly.

Day 346

Breakfast:
Pumpking Bread - 250cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ Hardboiled Egg - 150cals
Dinner:
Pizza w/ Bacon - 300cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 250cals

NET: 450

SimpsonThin

Oh, those Simpson girls.
Since I was young
they've been a million different sizes
and Ash has had a million differen styles
but I love them when they're tiny.
I mean, Jessica when she was itty bitty
is perfection
and the way they both look like bobble heads
when they're skinny.
I want to look like a bobble head.

Day 345

Breakfast:
Non-Fat Latte - 200cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ Hardboiled Eggs - 300cals
Dinner:
Celery w/ Ranch - 150cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 200cals
Walk w/ Stairs - 150cals

NET: 300

Miranda Thin

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20755457,00.html

I always feel sorry for her

when I see her looking gigantic

in her skimpy outfits next to her hot husband.

Apparently now she's got it "under control"

though I feel like she'll forever be

one of "those girls" who goes up&down.

She credits:

portion control&cardio.

That seems easy enough...

maybe with the quitting drinking

I actually succeed for once.

Day 434

Breakfast:
Yogert - 150cals
Lunch:
Salad w/ Eggs - 300cals
Dinner:
Non-Fat Latte - 150cals

Exercise:
Cycling - 300cals

NET: 300

GoingOut Outfit

This weekend I showcased my

sweater-tights-boots look

for a night out at the bar with some friends.

I felt pretty good.

Also this weekend was a friend's wedding.

I felt like a fatso all week

but I tried to dehydrate enough

to make myself look good.

I had big plans to get ready...

but I left work late and ran behind

meaning my "getting ready" was quick

and the only redeeming qualities were:

good hair & super high heels.

Then I got wasted and passed out on the table.

Starting NOW:

No Drinking till 2014.

Hopefully I'll lose some weight.

Days 432-433

Day 432
Breakfast:
Corned Beef Hash Omlette - 500cals
Lunch:
Lemon Rice Soup - 150cals
Dinner:
Wings - 300cals
Carrots w/ Ranch - 150cals

Exercise:
Walking - 200cals

Day 433
Breakfast:
Bagel w/ Cream Cheese - 200cals
Lunch:
Greek Salad - 200cals
Dinner:
Pizza - 200cals
Mozzarella Sticks - 200cals
Dessert:
Almond Cream Cake - 200cals

Exercise:
Raking - 200cals
Walking - 200cals

NET: 1500

Melissa&Joey Thin

I've been watching Melissa & Joey on Netflix.

It's actually a pretty cute show.

And Joey Lawrence is incredibly hot.

Melissa Joan Hart

- on the other hand -

fluctuates very obviously with her weight.

I'm sure she was having babies in "real life"

and she's an adult woman now

so the struggle is understandable

but I thought it was kind of awkward

the way the writers chose to handle her ups&downs.

They'd often make jokes about her eating&boozing

showcasing her love for donuts&wine

(odd since she's the gardian for 2 teens and drinks all the time)

almost to overcompensate for "accepting" her weight gain.

Then Joey Lawrence was always shown off

like a priced specimin of the male body

and they constantly play up how much we works out.

Another interesting observation:

Lennox - Taylor Spreitler

(Mel's teenage niece)

definitely thins our throughout the seasons.

Day 431

Breakfast:
Yogert - 150cals
Pumpkin Seeds - 150cals
Lunch:
Tuna Salad w/ Crackers - 200cals
Dinner:
Stemed Veggies - 100cals
Wine - 500cals

Exercise:
Dance - 200cals

NET: 900

FlowerPants

Today I'm wearing flower pants.

My thighs look gigantic.

I hope someday I'll put these on

and my legs will look adorable

and I'll wear them with confidence

instead of hiding behind my desk.

Day 430

Breakfast:
Yogert - 140cals
Lunch:
Tuna Salad w/ Crackers - 200cals
Snack:
Cottage Cheese - 100cals
Dinner:
Eggs - 300cals
Wine - 100cals
Beer - 100cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 740

Cycle Night

It's been cold&rainy

and I keep using it as an excuse

not to go to the gym.

So, I went out last night

and bought an exercise bike.

I bought the already-set-up one

which was 10% off

and I didn't have to do any assembling.

So I dragged it up my stairs

(after finding a million store employees to help me)

when I got home

and hopped right on to cycle.

It was nice to watch TV in my cozy room

and exercise without going anywhere.

I'm gonna have a nice tight butt

and thin thighs by January 1st, 2014.

Day 429

Breakfast:
Yogert - 150cals
Pineapple - 50cals
Lunch:
Tuna Salad w/ Cucumber Slices - 200cals
Snack:
Popcorn - 100cals
Dinner:
Salad w/ Hardboiled Egg - 200cals

Exercise:
Walk - 150cals
Biking - 200cals

NET: 350

Selfsie Thinspo

Maybe if I post some

BIG

FAT

pictures of myself

I'll feel motivated to regain control.

These are all from the past few months.

(at my office)

My thighs are the worst part

FOR SURE

so wide from the front

and so thick from the sides.

Disgusting.

No amount of cute&fashionable outfits

can cover up a gross body.

Day 428

Breakfast:
Yogert - 150cals
Lunch:
Tuna Salad w/ Crackers - 200cals
Cucumber Slices - 20cals
Snack:
Hardboiled Eggs - 130cals
Dinner:
Salad w/ Feta - 200cals

Exercise:
Walk - 150cals
Biking - 200cals

NET: 350

No Fucking Way.

I have fat thighs.

I have no sex.

I have to find mia.

In my case, though, it's Pizza.

And my thighs never get smaller.

I seriously have to get my shit together.

My man won't fuck me at all.

I'm always too fat to be fuckable.

I need sex - I need the body for sex.

I loved Mia for years&years.

I tend to decide I cannot keep it up.

I must fall back into Mia & become tiny.

Day 427

Breakfast:
Pumpkin Seeds - 100cals
Hardboiled Eggs - 250cals
Lunch:
Greek Salad - 200cals
Snack:
Orange - 50cals
Dinner:
Juevos Rancheros - 300cals

Exercise:
Walk - 250cals
Bike Ride - 200cals

NET: 450

Eating Liquids

A friend of the boyfriend's

has a tiny girlfriend

and I always assumed she was just

"one of those naturally thin girls"

but I found out the other weekend

just how untrue that is

when he got a little tipsy

and started complaining

about how she never eats.

They just moved in together

(just down the street from our house)

and he said they have no food in the house

which shocked me

cause I figured she ate like a horse

and happened to stay itty-bitty.

He said she focuses on "calories"

instead of food...

...she "eats" an energy drink or frapaccino

instead of chewing on a meal.

I started looking through her old pictures

after hearing what he said.

She definitely used to be "softer."

I found a picture from a wedding a year ago

compared to a wedding she was just in

and she's much bonier.

I need to adopt that mindset!

I'm a fat-disgusting pizza-slamming hog.

I didn't eat one healthy thing all weekend

and now I have a wedding to attend Friday

in a cute dress with a huge body.

Must behave this week.

Absolutely must.

Days 425-426

Day 425
Breakfast:
Bacon Omlette - 200cals Lunch:
Tuna Salad w/ Crackers - 200cals
Rice-r-Roni - 200cals
Dinner:
Chicken Wings - 200cals
Wine - 500cals
Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs & Hills - 200cals
Day 426
Breakfast:
Rice-r-Roni - 200cals Lunch:
Pizza w/ Bacon - 300cals Dinner:
Egg Salad w/ Crackers - 200cals
Exercise:
Cleaning - 150cals
NET: 1650

Wedded Thinspo

First there Adriana who got married on

Real Housewives of Miami

and looked absolutely tiny for her wedding.

There's a scene

where she's walking into the hotel

and her legs look like sticks

in her huge heels and flowy shorts.

If I was going to be the center of attention

and take pictures I'll cherish forever

I guess I'd be really motivated, too.

Then there's my silly sister-in-law

giving my a stack of bridal magazines.

No, the boyfriend&I aren't engaged

and we probably won't be for a while

and I'm more than a-o.k. with that

but it's almost scary to think

that in just a few years

I could be walking down the aisle.

I really should be perfecting my thin frame

now

instead of losing a bunch then

and having everyone tell me:

how small I look for my wedding...

I want to be itty-bitty for every day.

Day 424

Breakfast:
Sushi - 100cals
Lunch:
Pizza - 200cals
Salad - 150cals
Dinner:
Pizza - 300cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 200cals

NET: 550

Two Years Later

...:Two Years Later:...

I was so gigantically fat in 2011...
I don't know how I snagged my boyfriend then.
Easily 140lbs ...how disgusting I was.
When I think about drunkely fucking him
getting ready for dates
thinking that I was better than him...
I was gross&huge
and lucky that he liked me anyway.
Now, though, I'm much better than I was.
Now, though, he should feel lucky to have me.
Now, though, he should fuck me more often.
I will continue to shrink.
I will always be good enough for him
(maybe even better than him)
and he'll always know he wants me.

TODAY's WEIGH-IN: 125lbs

Day 423

Breakfast:
Celery w/ Dip - 150cals
Lunch:
Chips & Queso - 200cals
Snack:
Sunflower Seeds - 150cals
Dinner:
Sushi - 200cals
Beer - 200cals
Late Night Binge:
Jalapeno Poppers - 300cals

Exercise:
Run - 200cals
Elliptical - 300cals

NET: 700

Vanessa Thin

Though I HATE her character

(Vanessa on Gossip Girl)

but I do LOVE Jessica Szohr

her tiny frame & awesome fashion sense.

Evertime I see her on screen

I want to throw away my closet

go shopping and intensely diet

so my thighs can be as small as her thighs

in the cutest shorts&skirts&dresses.

It's definitely possible.

I'm well on my way.

Most recent favorite quote

from my actual favorite character:

"Do I look like I've been eating? Don't insult me."

-Blair Waldorf S6E2

Day 422

Breakfast:
Hard Boiled Eggs - 100cals
Snack:
Sunflower Seeds - 150cals
Lunch:
Chips & Queso - 300cals
Celery - 25cals
Dinner:
Tuna & Crackers - 200cals

Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 200cals
Crunches - 100cals

NET: 475

Sexy Sitcoms

Two thinspirational shows I'm into:

American Horror Story Coven&Betrayal.

Goodness... they're both sexy

and full of tiny people.

Emma Roberts&Taissa Farmiga

(Madison&Zoe)

and mysterious&perfect witches in Coven

enticing me into a witchcraft fascination

and a desire to throw away my colorful clothing

and adopt a black cat.

They're both small&sexy

and probably party&diet like professionals.

Hannah Ware the actress who plays Sarah Hanley

is so thin&beautiful

her clothes hang off her body

and her sex scenes make me want my own affair.

I anxiously await each upcoming episode.