Secret Obsession

Over the holidays I got together with some girlfriends.

One of them has lost a significant amount of weight
since college.

We had dinner at a Italian restaurant

and

all she talked about was wanting to order something delicious

but that she couldn't allow herself to get FAT again.

After she'd downed a couple dirty martinis

she munched off everyone's plates

sloppily shoveling carbs
between her pink, smudged lips.

I saddened me.

I created this blog so I could keep my obsession to myself.

I've been up&down

...

and people have noticed.

I've lost&gained

...

and people point it out.

(one of my girlfriends actually mentioned that:
I'm looking thinner at our Italian dinner.)

But whether I'm chubbyORtiny

...

I keep my thoughts to myself

and

never spew my weight-loss desires
or
weight-gain fears under wraps.