Day 421

Lunch:

Popcorn - 200cals

Snack:

Apples & Oranges - 100cals
Sunflower Seeds - 150cals

Dinner:
Chicken Breast - 400cals
Dessert:

Pizza - 250cals

Exercise:

Walk - 200cals

Elliptical - 300cals

NET: 600

Over-Sized Thin

My brother came to visit me last weekend.

He has the body of a male model

and always makes me feel fat&disgusting

(not on purpose - he'd never talk down to me)

and he loves to encourage when I'm tiny.

We went shopping on Sunday morning

and he commented on my clothing choices.

He thought my gigantic sweaters were fun

and complimentary on my small frame

which I felt to be an excellent observation.

Over-Sized Sweaters & Tights & Booties

are my prefered outfit these days.

Sometimes I feel like the tinier I get

the bigger my clothes get...

I like feeling like I'm swimming in them.

Maybe it's silly, but it makes me happy.

I need to stop eating all this naughty shit, though.

I've had SO MUCH PIZZA lately

I could kill myself by drowning in marinara!

It's disgusting.

And disturbing.

And I'll never look good

...no matter how big my clothes are!

Day 420

Lunch:
Carrots - 150cals
Snack:
Pumpkin Seeds - 100cals
Dinner:
Pizza - 500cals
Cheese Bread - 150cals

Exercise:
Walk - 200cals
Elliptical - 300cals

NET: 400

Angus&Julia&Cigarettes

...though I couldn't take up smoking again...

I can't deny that I miss it.

These Angus&Julia song make it even worse.

The comfort in a cigarette...

when I didn't want to think&function.

The excuse to exit a an uncomfortable situation:

for a cigarette.

No food for me - I'm smoking.
A friend craddled between my fingers.
A box&lighter calling from my purse.
You need nothing but me.
(and maybe coffee.)

I miss those days for sure.

But, I've seen first-hand the ugly side-effects

and I'm not willing to sacrifice that much.

Mary-Jane, though, is another story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z38si7BX9mA

"Chocolates & Cigarettes"

Angus & Julia Stone

Living on a diet of Chocolates & Cigarettes
I wanna call you again
I'll drink tea sometimes when it's cold
This is getting old
I call you again

Still too young to fail, too scared to sail away
But one of these days I'll grow old
And I'll grow brave and I'll go
One of these days

Blowing out the candles from my cake
I choke on the smoke as I look around the room
Everybodys wishing for no more mistakes
And all that I can think about is you

Still too young to fail, to scared to sail away
But one of these days I'll grow old
And I'll grow brave and I'll go
One of these days
La da la da la da

Still too young to fail, too scared to sail away
But one of these days I'll grow old
And I'll grow brave and I'll go
One of these days
La da la da la da

"I'm Not Yours"
Angus & Julia Stone

Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth
You're the only one that wants me around
And I can think of a thousand reasons why
I don't believe in you, I don't believe in you and I

Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth
You're the only one that wants me to die
And I can think of a thousand reasons why
I don't believe in you, I don't believe in you

I'm not yours anymore
I'm not yours anymore
No, I'm not yours anymore
I'm not yours anymore

Jump into your white mobile and run away
You're always leaving me behind
And I can think of a thousand reasons why
I don't believe in you, I don't believe in you and I

I'm not yours anymore
I'm not yours anymore
No, I, I'm not yours anymore
I'm not yours anymore

Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth
You're the only one that wants me around
And I can think of a thousand reasons why
I don't believe in you, I don't believe in you and I

Days 418-419

Day 418
Lunch:
Tequittos - 300cals
Pretzels - 150cals
Dinner:
Pizza - 300cals

Exercise:
Play w/ Toddler - 200cals

Day 419
Breakfast:
French Toast - 200cals
Lunch:
Chicken Tacos - 200cals
Chips & Guacamole - 100cals
Dinner:
Stuffed Crust Pizza - 500cals

Exercise:
Play w/ Toddler - 200cals
Walk w/ Stairs - 150cals

NET: 1100

Apps&Hollywood

I used to be so good at using the My Fitness Pal app

but for quite a while it's been forgotten.
I should get back to using it...
it definitely keeps me on track nicely
and now that I've got my head in the right place
(finally)
I'll be motivated to utilize it.
It's interesting to keep up with friends' updates.
One girlfriend is always burning so many calories
and I wish I could convince myself to do the same!

On a different note - I found a good article...
Hollywood Dirty Diet Secrets:
http://www.nydailynews.com
/life-style/hollywood-dirty-diet-secrets-article-1.286090
I like the peanuts only & hard-boiled egg only.
I could definitely do that.
I love hard-boiled eggs so much.
I think dirty diet secrets are nice to know...
it's not like anyone believes those tiny bitches
are "tiny by nature"
so knowing their extreme measures
reassures me that my efforts are not in vein.
I can eat hard-boiled eggs only
and be just as small as all the celebs.

Day 417

Lunch:
Baked Chicken Breast - 200cals
Dinner:
Beer - 500cals
Mozzarella Sticks - 300cals


Exercise:
Walk w/ Stairs - 150
Short Run - 100cals


NET: 250