I've been a MiaMonster lately.
I haven't even been eating that poorly.
A little treat here
something naught there
but no major binges...
yet, after ingesting something as minimalistic
as a salad
I head to the bathroom
turn on the shower
and throw everything up.
I just can't seem to stop myself.
I feel so much better once I've done it,
whether the food was worth getting rid of or not.
Side Effects:
I'm not gaining weight.
I'm not losing weight.
...and...
I've got sores in&around my mouth.
Damnit.
How gross.
I really do need to stop.
Well, to the plus of not gaining weight. But I'm not sure if throwing up is always the best option. I am more of a laxative person, and then hate myself in the morning because my stomach turns and cramps and wants to kill me. I sit and shit out a weeks worth of food and feel like I'm going to die, and I still don't feel any skinnier in the end. The teas are a waste of money. The only real trick I have found that works is not eating, just plain not eating! But hey, who can do that all the time. I get pretty hungry after a while and then binge my guts out, have to use laxatives, hate myself, and the whole system starts over again!
ReplyDeleteLove you and wish you the best... Sorry for my rant, I have nothing else to do with my afternoon but creep on unsuspecting people's blogs in hopes of finding inspiration or something I can take with me to work in a couple of hours. It's a pretty pitiful life, but hey, at least we made it this far!